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Saturday, September 04, 2010

Off the Wall news headlines

Have you ever read the newspaper or Internet sites just for the headlines? I mean not go any further and actually read the article, but rather conjure up in your own imagination what might be appropriate with the headline. Here are some headlines from the Internet with my own personal interpretations.

Fidel Castro claims, Osama bin Laden is a U.S. Agent. No doubt he was recruited by Sarah Palin and reports to Glenn Beck.

Kirstie Alley says, I’m too chicken to go dancing. Just as long as she doesn’t look like Joan Crawford in her dancing debut years ago that mimics a duck waddling.

Doctors look for small tumor, find 56-pounder. At first I thought Burger King had replaced the double whopper hamburger.

Body left in hearse. The real explanation is the best. A mortician from Carrboro, NC kept the decomposing body of a woman in the hearse while waiting for cremation authorization.

How a cadaver made your car safer. Was it a cadaver before it made your car safer, or did it become a cadaver in the process of making your car safer?

Bristol Palin reported going dancing. Who cares?

Lennon's toilet sells for $14,740 at U.K. auction. We have to assume that Yoko Ono no longer needed it.

And my favorite for today: Scoop: Lohan back on Twitter with driving tips. That one speaks for itself.

Please send me your “Off the wall headlines” with your own comments, and I will publish the best. In the meantime, keep laughing.

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